'cuz we're all a little weird anyway
My favorite room in my apartment is the sunroom.
It’s my saving grace in the middle of a harsh Chicago winter, where I can get cozy and journal, do yoga, or rock out on the keyboard and guitar with the sun shining on me like a spotlight.
But there’s nothing I love more than looking out the window and catching a glimpse of a full-grown adult walking down the street, jamming out loud to the music in their headphones -- or maybe just in their head? (Either way, not judging).
They don’t know anyone’s watching them; they’re just being their 100% authentic selves, off-key voice, off-beat dance moves, and all.
And I can’t look away. I feel like a fly on the wall. How refreshing it is to see a person just be.
fall in mutual weirdness and call it love -dr. seuss
We can probably name a person who gives us the space to feel this way.
We “click” with them, because we’re able to shed our reservations, doing things together we normally wouldn’t do – dancing silly, singing Celine Dion at the top of our lungs, cracking dad jokes, or sharing our deepest secrets – without fear of being judged.
In these moments, whether we’re with another person or walking on the street alone, we live without any ounce of fear or worry.
That’s how God intended us to live.
“You came near when I called you, and you said, ‘Do not fear.’ –Lamentations 3:57 NIV
“So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” –Matthew 10:31 AMP
“Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” –Isaiah 41:13 ESV
A quick Google search tells us the phrase “fear not” is mentioned 365 times in the Bible. There’s 365 days in a year. Coincidence? I think not.
We need God’s reminder every day. At least I know I do.
be yourself; everyone else is already taken -oscar wilde
As a single woman in my 30’s, there’s not a day I don’t think about my future husband.
“What does this mysterious man look like? Where is he hiding?
Why is it taking so long?
What else should I be doing to put myself out there?
Will I ever love again?”
I’ve tried the dating apps. And let me tell you, they’re just not for me. The endless scrolling, the back-and-forth small talk, the judging of pictures and lame bio jokes (guilty on both accounts).
Dating through a screen makes it easy to judge and hard to trust.
The last in-person date I went on surprised me for two reasons – one being I actually agreed to meet with this stranger, and two, because I trusted him.
Yes, I just said he was a stranger, but because we met in person first (while we were out with friends), I was able to get an immediate sense of his character. And for that, I was able to let my guard down – at least enough to let him get to know me over lunch.
This date never blossomed into anything more, but what it taught me was that knowing someone leads to trust, and trust leads to love.
I am capable of loving someone again, but I need to truly trust them first.
I’ve put up a guard because I’ve been hurt by past relationships. Even though I’ve found forgiveness, it’s hard for me to forget that pain. I’m sure many of you can relate. Even Jesus experienced betrayal.
Paula Rinehart, author of Better Than My Dreams, summarizes it well:
Do you see his pain as he rides into Jerusalem on a donkey, knowing that the cries of those who shout ‘Hosanna!’ on this day will be the same voices who shout ‘Crucify him!’ the next?
Even though Jesus knew betrayal would come only days after Palm Sunday, he still shared the same message his Father did:
“Fear not, daughter of Zion; behold, your king is coming, sitting on a donkey’s colt!” –John 12:15 ESV
Even though we know people can (and will) hurt us, we can trust God when he tells us not to worry about a thing – not our current circumstances, not our past sins, not even our relationship status.
good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams -roald dahl
I’m still hopeful mine will change from “single” to “married” in the near future. But as I sit and wait in expectation, looking out my sunroom window, I am reminded of how God wants me to live – free to dance and free to just be.
Without any ounce of fear in my body.
You're invited to attend an upcoming show I'm in called My Ideal Match! Eight short plays, written, directed, and performed by the Yellow Rose Theater, April 22-23 in Chicago. Wine and hors d'oeuvres will be served. Use code AY for a discount. For tickets & more info, head to https://www.theyellowrosetheater.com/upcoming-events